Forcing Yourself to Get Back Up

I've been pretty absent for my blog for a couple of weeks. I've been having a bit of a rough time, if I'm being totally honest. Whether it's uni getting on top of me or just general stuff getting me down, I haven't felt myself and I've had many 'wobbles', to the point where I considered dropping out of uni and just giving up. It's taken me a while and I'm still not feeling too great but I've managed to straighten my head out a little and put things in some perspective. I managed to pick myself up, rather, I forced myself to get back up. So I thought I'd try and maybe give some 'advice' about what works for me when I'm having a rough time.

Don't be afraid to receive help. This has been such a tough thing for me. I'm a hugely independent person and hate the thought of being a burden to anyone else. But after a lot of deliberation and having to force myself to accept help, I strongly advise anyone who's feeling overwhelmed or worried or stressed to embrace any kind of support you can. I'm getting some extra support from university and stuff and as stupid and time-wasting I felt at the time, I soon realised that it was the right thing to do and that a lot of other people do it too! So basically, whether it's going to a family member, friend, doctor, teacher or just anyone who can help, I really recommend it, because it does take a huge strain off.  And also, if you do see a doctor, you may find out that there is something that causes you to feel this way, such as depression, anxiety etc. which isn't your fault and then you can get the suitable help to make things feel better.

Keep yourself focused and busy. This might not help all people but for me it has really helped to have something to focus on and keep my mind busy with. So I'm getting a head start on my university work and I'm also doing a lot of volunteering with charities, Scouting and school. I just want to keep my head down and not let myself have the time to dwell on the stuff that gets me down. I'm notorious for letting myself overthink and let myself become sort of overwhelmed by things that make me stressed, panicked or upset. So, I'm trying to not let myself have the time to do that!

Accept that things aren't ever going to be perfect. Okay, so this doesn't seem like a positive thing to do, I know that, but it's realistic. There is always going to be something in your life that isn't the way you want it, be that your grades, your job, your friends, your relationship, whatever. It doesn't mean that you should be unhappy all because your life isn't this 'picture perfect' situation. I'm a serious perfectionist and want things to be a certain way all the time, but I'm learning to accept that sometimes things just happen and you can't do anything about it.

Do what you want to do and follow your heart. I place emphasis on the you in this, because at the end of the day you do only have one life and to spend it doing things you don't want to do is such a waste. You can't spend your life doing things to please other people or because it's considered the right thing to do. If you want to go to uni, or to get a job, or to travel, or to get married, or to have kids, just do it. Do what makes you happy and try your best not to think of what others may have to say about it. As I've said before, the thought of looking back in however many years and regretting the life I have terrifies me, so I want to do things I'm proud of and can remember fondly.

Let go of people who don't benefit your life. We all grow out of friendships and relationships and we shouldn't be afraid to admit that. If you've been there for someone all of the time and try so hard with them yet you receive nothing back then it's okay to say 'you know what, I'm not trying anymore.' If you're going through a rough time then the last thing you need is people who no longer serve you or support you in your life. All kinds of relationships work two ways, and if that no longer applies then you have the right to walk away. Do what's best for you.

I'm no advice guru and I only have my own personal experiences to draw on from my short 20 years of life, but if this can help even one person then that's enough for me. I just want people to know they aren't alone and that it's okay to admit that you aren't okay. As I've mentioned before, I'm always happy to chat to anyone if they want to send me a message or whatever. If I can help, I will. I'm hoping things will start to look up now, it's a slow process but I'm trying.

Love,

Emma x

New year, new me?

First things first, my name is Emma, I'm 20 years old and I'm from a small town near Manchester.

Okay, so I am completely aware that the whole 'new year, new me' thing is a load of rubbish. No, just because we write a different number for the date does not mean I am a new person who can completely restart my life. However, there is something somewhat hopeful about a new year, hence the reason I started this blog, and hence the name of my blog. I won't go into the boring details of the crappy year I just experienced, because I want to focus on the wonderful year that hopefully lays ahead of me. The way I see it, whether you decide you want to turn your life around on January 1st, or April 21st, or September 15th, it's a pretty exciting and refreshing feeling. Quite simply, I refuse to have a year like 2014, in which I spent far too much time dwelling on the negatives rather than focusing on the positives. I am a very privileged person, in that I have great friends and family surrounding me, I'm studying at university, I have a part time job. I need to learn to appreciate that more.

So, here we go, I'm going to do the oh so cliche thing of writing my New Years Resolutions down. Now, I have refused to make any for the past couple of years, because I thought 'well I'll never achieve them anyway', and thinking about it now, that is exactly where I was going wrong. And so this year, I'm going to make resolutions, and I'm going to try my best to keep them!

1. To be a better person

I'm aware that this is an extremely broad concept, and I know you can't just turn around and say 'yeah I'm going to be better than I am now' because it just doesn't happen like that. But, I know for a fact that in 2014 I didn't treat some people the way I should have, and at times I was a pretty unpleasant person to know and be around. I want to be more selfless this year, yet I want to be aware of the fact that I can't sacrifice my own happiness to please everyone else. It's all about balance, and that is something I want to do better this year.

2. To be a more positive person

I am most definitely a glass half empty kind of girl, and it has become clear to me that being that way really isn't the most beneficial of attitudes.. Let's face it, if you always look at the things negatively then you are never going to feel positive about things! If something is hard I need to stop thinking 'it's too difficult, I give up' and think 'how can I get around this issue?' This also ties in with number 1, as being more positive will make me a better person!

3. To work hard

This applies to many things. To work in general. To university, which I admittedly do not enjoy very much, yet I want to succeed in it and therefore I need to get my head down and focus (let's ignore the massive pile of work I am currently avoiding..). It also applies to Scouting, an organisation I have been involved with for all of my life, but this year I am taking on new roles, taking on new adventures and hopefully I can be part of that all important change in the development of Scouting!

I think 3 resolutions is plenty to work on, especially when they're as broad as mine. I don't want to overwhelm myself with ridiculous and unrealistic goals that I will simply be disappointed in and give up on. So, I think I'm pretty satisfied with what I have come up with, and I suppose we shall see what the year brings.

Here's to 2015!

Emma x