'People throw rocks at things that shine...'

This week, alongside many other people, I watched the Channel 4 thriller 'Cyberbully'. If you haven't seen it, I really recommend you do. It portrays the story of a teenage girl experiencing her computer being hacked into and being cyberbullied, however, there's a lot more to it than that. I won't spoil it for you. However, I will say that it really made me think and as a result I felt angry and disgusted at how we all treat one another. I'm not saying that I'm the perfect person and never say a hurtful comment about anyone, because that just wouldn't be true. I will admit that I am an extremely blunt person, I say it as it is and have strong opinions about things. But, I would never say something to intentionally hurt someone or belittle them out of spite or just to make them feel small.

In relation to cyberbullying, I think it's an issue that a lot of people experience. There isn't a single day pass by without seeing some form of argument or conflict on social media sites such as Facebook or Twitter. People writing indirect status' or tweets in order to express their anger with someone else. Everyone does it. But not everyone thinks before they type. Teenagers can be especially harsh.

When I was in high school I was victim of online bullying, as well as real life bullying. I know that most people experience this nowadays, which is a horrifying concept, and people say 'it's just part of growing up'. Well, that may be, but I still remember the comments that were made to me vividly. I'm still incredibly self conscious of my eyes because of the people that repeatedly said I had 'fish eyes' or 'frog eyes' because they're big. Whenever anyone makes a comment on my eyes such as 'they're so big' my heart immediately sinks and I feel embarrassed because I take it as an insult, whether it was intended to be or not. If someone compliments my eyes I can't believe them because all my mind says is 'well what about the bullies and what they said?' How sad is that? 20 years old, left high school nearly 4 years ago, and I still get bothered by the things bullies said to me. I can deal with that, no, I won't get over it, but I don't have to listen to it anymore. What terrifies me most is the fact that people like my little cousins are/have started high school and they might have to or might already be facing this awful experience that may impact them for the rest of their lives.

It isn't a secret that so many young people commit suicide as a result of bullying. I know of people who have done it, people I went to school with. And I can totally believe it and understand why people do it. Why would anyone want to get up in the morning and drag themselves to school, work, anywhere to be the subject of abuse and be so dehumanised that you feel worthless? So many people don't understand and so many people aren't willing to try and understand. Yes, it is true that criticism is a part of life that we have to endure and have to embrace and learn from, but there is a difference between criticism and bullying.

I don't want this post to be all doom and gloom, because all it does is get people angry and get people ranting about how they 'hate bullies' etc. Yes, feel angry by all means, but do something about it. If you see someone getting bullied, try your best to help stop it, whether that means telling a teacher, manager, parent, whoever. Don't sit back and watch people be dragged down by others. And in regards to the bullies, they're cowards. The chances are they too are facing problems and insecurities that they fight against by inflicting their pain upon other people. Don't disregard them as wastes of time, because the chances are there is more than meets the eye. Don't become a bully yourself out of fear of standing out, if you're trying to fit in with people that bully people then you really should reconsider your self worth.

As the title of this post says: 'People throw rocks at things that shine.' This is a quote from a Taylor Swift song called Ours. This particular line means so much to me because it's so true. People will do anything to bring down people that stand out, that they are jealous of, that stay true to themselves. If you are/have been bullied, as tough as it may be, take it as a compliment. To the people that bullied me (although I highly doubt they'll be reading this): Thank you. You may have caused insecurities that might not go away, but you have made me a much stronger person. You made me realise I am worth so much more than your petty comments and I don't need the approval of people that are completely irrelevant in my life to feel good about myself.

It isn't something that will ever be easily resolved. But if we all make a promise to ourselves to try our best not to belittle people or hurt people intentionally through acts of jealousy or spitefulness then surely bullying won't be as big an issue. No one is born a bully. We all make that decision ourselves about how to treat people. Make the right decision.

Love,
Emma x

The Future

The future is a daunting prospect for anyone and everyone, in my opinion. I find it funny how the older I've got get the less I've looked ahead and the more I've started focusing on now. That isn't because I haven't wanted to dream about the future and exciting things that could happen to me, but because it's been flat out made clear by society that in this life you are only capable of so much depending on where you come from, what your knowledge is and how much money you have.

When you're 4 and someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up and you respond with some crazy ambition that is never going to happen you genuinely think that you can be that thing. As you get older and the same question is asked to you it becomes more and more apparent that your dreams aren't actually that achievable. That isn't to say that you won't grow up to be a singer, actor, astronaut, whatever, because some people do! What really baffles me is the fact that for the majority of us, we give up on the big dreams and accept they won't happen. But why? Because they might be tough? Because we aren't clever enough, rich enough, popular enough? It's crazy to me that these factors actually stop us from aiming high.

I saw this video yesterday on Facebook and it genuinely moved me and left me dumbfounded with how horrifyingly accurate it was. Here is the link: The Video. The reality that in school, work, society in general we are judged on our ability to do things under a strict criteria is disgusting to me. The thing is, society looks down on teenagers who don't achieve certain grades or do certain things, but only just leaving my teens myself I can see exactly why these people give up trying. Why would you try your hardest only to be told your best isn't good enough? This has happened to me personally. I am horrible at maths and found it so difficult in high school, yet with the help of a fantastic teacher I managed to get my GCSE Maths grade from a low C to one mark off an A. I was thrilled, I couldn't believe it! Yeah, I was gutted I hadn't got that A but to be so close was something I never expected. That euphoria lasted all of 10 minutes as I was then bundled into a room with a group of other people who hadn't achieved A's and we were told 'you may be happy with your grades, but it isn't good enough, you must resit and try and do better. If you don't want to, then tough.' 

To say I was furious is an understatement. And like so many of the people society shuns I gave up. I refused to do any work in lessons, my new teacher had to beg me to do 'just two questions'. I went into this ridiculous resit that my school had pointlessly paid for and answered about 3 questions on each paper and sat there daydreaming for the rest of the time. It's safe to say I didn't get an A, and I quite frankly didn't and still don't care. It astounds me that people are so damn concerned with figures on a chart that they forget about the individuals who are affected by the pressure they are placed under, all so schools, universities, work places look 'better'.

Grades aren't everything, it's as simple as that. My brother, sorry Oliver, is not academic in the slightest. He dragged himself through GCSE's and A Levels and came out with underwhelming grades and yet he has a job doing what he wants to do and couldn't be happier. How did he do that? Determination, passion and self belief. Grades aren't everything.

For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be an English teacher. I still want to do that. I want to be the teacher that doesn't belittle their students for not being as clever as someone else, I want to give my students hope and make sure they know that their best is good enough. We are all unique, we all have different talents and skills and some of them can't be defined by a letter on a piece of paper. I don't know who reads this, or if anyone will, but I want those that do to know that you are good enough and you do have the ability to achieve your dreams. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If someone tells you you can't do something, you should fight even hard to do it. The only thing limiting you is yourself and if you truly want something who the hell has the right to tell you otherwise?

I'm sorry that this is a bit of a ranty post, and I understand people may not agree and that is absolutely fine. But basically, the point is, don't let anyone make you feel less than you are, you can do anything you set your mind to and just think of that moment when you can turn around to those people who put you down and say 'see, I told you I could do it.'

Stay true to yourself,
Emma x